Sweetie's Tribute

Tay Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:17 am

Sweetie, my guinea pig died on Friday and I am so overcome with grief that I can't stand it any longer. I feel so... guilty and angry at myself, having no closure to her unexpected and perhaps untimely death. I don't care that she was "merely a rodent". To me, she was so much more and I hope that this will put both of us at ease.

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I remember the day when I received the phone call from my grandmother, asking me if I would like a guinea pig from my uncle's friend's newborn litter. I instantly and eagerly said yes; I'd just recently found out that the guinea pig I gave to my friend had died and yearned for another.

The day you finally were able to come home to us...I was overjoyed beyond words. You were one of the most adorable things my young eyes had seen. You were such a tame soul-wanting nothing more but our love and attention. And of course, food. We set you in a large cage with all the hideouts and toys any guinea pig could ever wish for. Among your favorites seemed to be an old vase and a toy tunnel log.

We spoiled and pampered you with attention and food, though you could never seem to get enough of the latter. You began to get quite plump. So much that my grandma worried you were carrying little ones. I quickly dismissed her-you were chubby, nothing more to it.

As it turns out, I should have listened. A few weeks later, I heard some odd squeaking sounds coming from under your log toy. Though my grandmother assured me it was nothing unusual, I was not convinced. I slowly lifted the log, completely uncertain of what I would behold-- and then, I let out a sharp yelp and withdrew my hand. There were two other little creatures under there with you! Both of which were white with piercing red, albino eyes. Baby cavvies! You can imagine my surprise.

There was a male and a female. We settled on Lani for the girl and Rascal for the boy. They adorable little things. You were so protective! They grew quite rapidly, and soon, it was time for Rascal to depart. We parted you slowly, though you and Lani were still destressed when Rascal left for his new home.

Slowly, after that, we began to stop paying attention to both you and Lani. Of course, we still fed you, changed your cage and all that, but we almost never took you out to play anymore. Of course, we were very busy but that was no excuse.

You had Lani, so you weren't alone. However, this didn't last for eternity. On December 28th, 2011, Lani passed away at the age of four due to unknown causes. I apologize, from the sincerity gathered from the deepest depths from my heart to Lani that her last moments were not happy ones... I am so sorry, Lani...

After that, we began to pay more and more attention to you, spoiling you with all types of treats. We tried to ease your confusion towards the situation. You still searched for her, as if she would one day return. It seemed to work, as you slowly seemed to forget about Lani's absence.

Things went well until mid-January. For some odd reason, you were bloated beyond normality. We rushed you to the vet, praying that we wouldn't lose you as well. They were unable to find the underlying cause of your bloating. They gave us a medication, which they didn't guarantee would help, and sent us off.

You were doing absolutely dandy on your medication and everything seemingly returned to normal. I figured you were fine. At least, until one day... I found you oh so thin and bony. It was odd at the very least, as you had been fine and eating the day before. You were dying. Desperate, I blended up fruit and served you in a syringe. After that, you were fine and returned to just about your normal weight. This was the second time I had saved you. But those times dont matter now... Because I wasn't able to save you this time.

It was Friday, March 2nd, 2012. I had you out before I prepared for school, feeding and playing with you. You were absolutely fine. In fact, we even went out and got another one of those log toys you loved so much that exact same day. Everything was fine... what happened, Sweetie?

...I received the news from my dad as he picked me up from school. I was in denial. You were fine that very morning! What happened?! According to my mother and sisters, they found you
on your side in your cage, twitching. Alarmed and overcome with worry, they rushed you to the vet. They said... they said that you were battling just to breathe. Battling to live... because you loved us and your life.

I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with myself. That I couldn't save you.. that I wasn't there... that I didn't do everything I wanted to do with you. It was so sudden... I didn't even get to say I love you one last time. We buried you next to Lani. It's a beautiful grave site...

That night as we were supposed to be asleep, I crept out of my room and wept. And sobbed. I felt... I feel so guilty... so angry. As I passed your empty cage to return to my room, I swore I saw you and heard you squeal for food. My heart leaping with joy, I peaked in, ony for my hopes to fall once more. I began to sob again.

"Sweetie..." I whispered, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

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Sweetie, I loved and love you with all of my heart. Almost more than anything do I want you here again... My skin is burning with salty tears and my face is stained, so I must say goodbye now, for one final time. I know I'll never know what caused you to go so unexpectedly, but I hope this provides some closure. Thank you so much for trying to fight... You tried your hardest. Please be with Lani now...